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perhaps thirty years, with a tall head and bulging brow and a highly
intellectual pair of eyes and spectacles. He wore his hair without
roach or "part" and the smile he beamed about him was "a joy forever. "
He was an educator -- from the East, I think I heard it rumoured -- anyway
he was introduced to the school at last, and he bowed, and smiled, and
beamed upon us all, and entertained us after the most delightfully
edifying manner imaginable. And although I may fail to reproduce the
exact substance of his remarks upon that highly important occasion, I
think I can at least present his theme in all its coherency of detail.
Addressing more particularly the primary department of the school, he
said: --
destined, as I think, to revolutionize, in a great degree, the
educational systems of our land. -- In my belief, the Object Lesson will
supply a want which I may safely say has heretofore left the most
egregious and palpable traces of mental confusion and intellectual
inadequacies stamped, as it were, upon the gleaming reasons of the
most learned -- the highest cultured, and the most eminently gifted and
promising of our professors and scientists both at home and abroad.
and probing deeply with the bright, clean scalpel of experience we
discover that -- 'As the twig is bent the tree's inclined. ' To remedy,
then, a deeply seated error which for so long has rankled at the very
root of educational progress throughout the land, many plausible, and
we must admit, many helpful theories have been introduced to allay the
painful errors resulting from the discrepancy of which we speak: but
until now, nothing that seemed wholly to eradicate the defect has been
discovered, and that, too, strange as it may seem, is, at last,
emanating, like the mighty river, from the simplest source, but
broadening and gathering in force and power as it flows along, until,
at last, its grand and mighty current sweeps on in majesty to the vast
illimitable ocean of -- of -- of -- Success! Ahem!
clear and comprehensive explanation of the Object Lesson and its
mission, I trust you will give me your undivided attention while I
endeavor -- in my humble way -- to direct your newly acquired knowledge
through the proper channel. For instance: --
proper name? Come, now, let us see who will be the first to answer. 'A
peanut,' says the little boy here at my right. Very good -- very good! I
hold, then, in my hand, a peanut. And now who will tell me, what is
the peanut? A very simple question -- who will answer? 'Something good
to eat,' says the little girl. Yes, 'something good to eat,' but would
it not be better to say simply that the peanut is an edible? I think
so, yes. The peanut, then, is -- an edible -- now, all together, an
edible!
mineral kingdom? A very easy question. Come, let us have prompt
answers. 'The animal kingdom,' does the little boy say? Oh, no! The
peanut does not belong to the animal kingdom! Surely the little boy
must be thinking of a larger object than the peanut -- the elephant,
perhaps. To what kingdom, then, does the peanut belong? The
v-v-veg -- 'The vegetable kingdom,' says the bright-faced little girl on
the back seat. Ah! that is better. We find then that the peanut
belongs to the -- what kingdom? The 'vegetable kingdom. ' Very good, very
good!
quick responses now. Time is fleeting! Of what is the peanut composed?
'The hull and the goody,' some one answers. Yes, 'the hull and the
goody' in vulgar parlance, but how much better it would be to say
simply, the shell and the kernel. Would not that sound better? Yes, I
thought you would agree with me there!
for I shouldn't like to hear you make the very stupid blunder I once
heard a little boy make in reply to the same question. Would you like
to hear what color the stupid little boy said the peanut was? You
would, eh? Well, now, how many of you would like to hear what color
the stupid little boy said the peanut was? Come now, let's have an
expression. All who would like to hear what color the stupid little
boy said the peanut was, may hold up their right hands. Very good,
very good -- there, that will do.
make to a neighboring city, where I was invited to address the
children of a free school -- Hands down, now, little boy -- founded for
the exclusive benefit of the little newsboys and bootblacks, who, it
seems, had not the means to defray the expenses of the commonest
educational accessories, and during an object lessen -- identical with
the one before us now -- for it is a favorite one of mine -- I propounded
the question, what is the color of the peanut? Many answers were given
in response, but none as sufficiently succinct and apropos as I deemed
the facts demanded; and so at last I personally addressed a ragged,
but, as I then thought, a bright-eyed little fellow, when judge of my
surprise, in reply to my question what is the color of the peanut, the
little fellow, without the slightest gleam of intelligence lighting up
his face, answered, that 'if not scorched in roasting, the peanut was
a blond. ' Why, I was almost tempted to join in the general merriment
his inapposite reply elicited. But I occupy your attention with
trivial things; and as I notice the time allotted to me has slipped
away, we will drop the peanut for the present. Trusting the few facts
gleaned from a topic so homely and unpromising will sink deep in your
minds, in time to bloom and blossom in the fields of future
usefulness -- I -- I -- -- I thank you. "
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