To -- "the J. W. R. Literary Club"

Well, it's enough to turn his head to have a feller's name
Swiped with a _Literary_ Club! -- But _you're_ the ones to blame! --
I call the World to witness that I never _agged_ ye to it
By ever writin' _Classic-like_ -- _because I couldn't_ do it:
I never run to "Hellicon," ner writ about "Per-nassus,"
Ner ever tried to rack or ride around on old "P-_gassus_"!
When "Tuneful Nines" has cross'd my lines, the ink 'ud blot and blur it,
And pen 'ud jest putt back fer home, and take the short way fer it!
And so, as I'm a-sayin', -- when you name your Literary
In honor o' this name o' mine, it's railly nessessary --
Whilse I'm _a-thankin'_ you and all -- to _warn_ you, ef you do it,
I'll haf to jine the thing myse'f 'fore I can live up to it!