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'Uz best watch-dog you ever see! )
An' so last winter -- ist before
It's go' be Chris'mus-Day, -- w'y, shore
Enough, Pa had to haf to go
To 'tend a lawsuit -- "An' the snow
Ist right fer Santy Claus! " Pa said,
As he clumb in old Ayersuz' sled,
An' said he's sorry _he_ can't be
With us that night -- "Cause," he-says-ee,
"Old Santy _might_ be comin' here --
This very night of all the year
Back, laughin' -- an' away they went!
An' Uncle wave' his hands an' yells
"Yer old horse ort to have on bells! "
But Pa yell back an' laugh an' say
"I 'spect when _Santy_ come this way
It's time enough fer sleighbells nen! "
An' holler back "Good-by! " again,
An' reach out with the driver's whip
An' cut behind an' drive back Trip.
An' kitchen, too, an' ever'where!
An' Uncle say, "At's ist the way
Yer Ma's b'en workin', night an' day,
Sence she hain't big as Etty is
Er Lee-Bob in that chair o' his! "
Nen Ma she'd laugh 't what Uncle said,
An' smack an' smoove his old bald head
An' say "Clear out the way till I
Can keep that pot from b'ilin' dry! "
Nen Uncle, when she's gone back to
The kitchen, says, "We _ust_ to do
The premiun at the Fair. An' what
You think? -- He rake a grea'-big hole
In the hot ashes, an' he roll
Them old big 'taters in the place
An' rake the coals back -- an' his face
Ist swettin' so's he purt'-nigh swear
'Cause it's so hot! An' when they're there
'Bout time 'at we fergit 'em, he
Ist rake 'em out again -- an' _gee_! --
He bu'st 'em with his fist wite on
A' old stove-led, while Etty's gone
An' _me_-o-_my_! they're hard to beat!
An' Trip 'ud ist lay there an' pant
Like he'd laugh _out loud_, but he can't.
Nen Uncle fill his pipe -- an' we
'Ud he'p him light it -- Sis an' me, --
But mostly little Lee-Bob, 'cause
"He's the best _Lighter_ ever wuz! "
Like Uncle telled him wunst when Lee-
Bob cried an' jerked the light from me,
He wuz so mad! So Uncle pat
An' pet him. (Lee-Bob's ust to that --
He ist cracked hickernuts, he did,
Till they's a crockful, mighty nigh!
An' when they're all done by an' by,
He raked the red coals out again
An' telled me, "Fetch that popcorn in,
An' old three-leggud skillut -- an'
The _led_ an' all now, little man, --
An' yer old Uncle here 'ull show
You how corn's popped, long years ago
When me an' Santy Claus wuz boys
On Pap's old place in Illinoise! --
Don't talk too much, like Uncle there,
Ner don't fergit, like _him_, my dears,
That 'little pitchers has big ears! "
But Uncle say to her, "Clear out! --
Yer brother knows what he's about. --
_You_ git your Chris'mus-cookin' done
Er these pore childern won't have none! "
Nen Trip wake up an' raise, an' nen
Turn roun' an' nen lay down again.
An' one time Uncle Sidney say, --
"When dogs is sleepin' thataway,
An' when Ma's gone again back in
The kitchen, Uncle scratch his chin
An' say, "When Santy Claus an' Pa
An' me wuz little boys -- an' Ma,
When she's 'bout big as Etty there; --
W'y, -- 'When we're _growed_ -- no matter _where_,'
Santy he cross' his heart an' say, --
'I'll come to see you, all, some day
When _you'_ got childerns -- all but me
An' pore old Sid! " Nen Uncle he
Ist kindo' shade his eyes an' pour'
Yer _Pa_ know', when he drived away,
Tomorry's go' be Chris'mus-_Day_; --
Well, nen _tonight_," he whisper, "see? --
It's go' be Chris'mus-_Eve_," says-ee,
"An', like yer Pa hint, when he went,
Old Santy Claus (now hush! ) he's sent
Yer Pa a postul-card, an' write
He's shorely go' be here tonight.
That's why yer Pa's so bored to be
_Away_ tonight, when Santy he
Is go' be here, sleighbells an' all,
An' Etty grab Lee-Bob an' prance
All roun' the room like it's a dance --
Till Ma she come an' march us nen
To dinner, where we're _still_ again,
But _tickled_ so we ist can't eat
But pie, an' ist the hot mincemeat
With raisins in. -- But _Uncle_ et,
An' _Ma_. An' there they set an' set
Till purt'-nigh supper-time; nen we
Tell him he's got to fix the Tree
'Fore _Santy_ gits here, like he said.
Out of a little jackoak-top
He git down at the sawmill-shop --
An' Trip 'ud run ahead, you know,
An' 'tend-like he 'uz _eatin'_ snow --
When we all waddle back with it;
An' Uncle set it up -- an' git
It wite in front the fireplace -- 'cause
He says "Tain't _so_ 'at Santy Claus
Comes down _all_ chimblies, -- least, tonight
He's comin' in _this_ house all right --
By the front-door, as ort to be! --
Well, _we_! -- We hardly couldn't wait
Till it wuz dusk, an' dark an' late
Enough to light the lamp! -- An' Lee-
Bob light a candle on the Tree --
"Ist _one_ -- 'cause I'm 'The Lighter'! " -- Nen
He clumb on Uncle's knee again
An' hug us _bofe_; -- an' Etty git
Her little chist an' set on it
Wite clos't, while Uncle telled some more
'Bout Santy Claus, an' clo'es he wore
"_All maked o' furs, an' trimmed as white_
Nen we all listen. An'-sir, shore
Enough, we hear bells -- more an' more
A-jinglin' clos'ter -- clos'ter still
Down the old crook-road roun' the hill.
An' Uncle he jumps up, an' all
The chairs he jerks back by the wall
An' th'ows a' overcoat an' pair
O' winder-curtains over there
An' says, "_Hide quick, er you're too late! --
Them bells is stoppin' at the gate! --
Git back o' them-'air chairs an' hide_,
"_There's Santy Claus! -- I know him by
His big white mufftash! _" -- an' ist cry
An' laugh an' _squeal_ an' dance an' _yell_ --
Till, when he quiet down a spell,
Old Santy bow an' th'ow a kiss
To him -- an' one to me an' Sis --
An' nen go _clos't_ to Ma an' stoop
An' kiss her -- An' nen give a whoop
That _fainted_ her! -- 'Cause when he bent
An' kiss her, he ist backed an' went
Wite 'ginst the Chris'mus-Tree ist where
An' flops it over Santy's head,
An' swing the door wide back an' said,
"Come out, old man! -- an' _quick_ about
It! -- I've ist _got_ to put you out! "
An' out he sprawled him in the snow --
"Now _roll_! " he says -- "_Hi-roll-ee-O_! " --
An' Santy, sputter'n' "_Ouch! Gee-whiz! _"
Ist roll an' roll fer all they is!
An' Trip he's out there, too, -- I know,
'Cause I could hear him yappin' so --
An' I heerd Santy, wunst er twic't,
An' drippy -- An' I see it yet!
An' nen, seem-like, I hear some mens
A-talkin' out there by the fence,
An' one says, "Oh, 'bout twelve o'clock! "
"Nen," 'nother'n says, "Here's to you, Doc! --
_God bless us ever' one_! " An' nen
I heerd the old pump squonk again.
An' nen I say my prayer all through
Like Uncle Sidney learn' me to, --
"O Father mine, e'en as Thine own,
This child looks up to Thee alone:
"I'm got back home fer Chris'mus-Day! --
An' Uncle Sid's here, too -- an' he
Is nibblin' 'roun' yer Chris'mus-Tree! "
Nen _Uncle_ holler, "I suppose
Yer Pa's so proud he's froze his nose
He wants to turn it up at us,
'Cause _Santy_ kick' up such a fuss --
Tetchin' hisse'f off same as ef
He wuz his own fireworks hisse'f!"
"But Pa he'd ort a-seen the way
_Santy_ bear up last night when that-
Air fire break out, an' quicker'n _scat_
He's all a-blazin', an' them-'air
Gun-cotton whiskers that he wear
Ist _flashin'_! -- till I burn a hole
In the snow with him, and he roll
The front-yard dry as Chris'mus jokes
Old parents plays on little folks!
But, long's a smell o' tow er wool,
I kep' him rollin' _beautiful_! --
