'Ll where in the world my eyes has bin -- Ef I hain't missed that train ag'in!
Chuff! And whistle! And toot! And ring!
But blast and blister the dasted train -- !
How it does it I can't explain!
Git here thirty-five minutes before The durn things due -- ! And, drat the thing It'll manage to git past-shore!
The more I travel around, the more I got no sense -- ! To stand right here And let it beat me! 'Ll ding my melts!
I got no gumption, ner nothin' else!
Ticket Agent's a dad-burned bore -- !
Sell you a tickets all they keer -- !
Ticket Agents ort to all be
Prosecuted -- and that's jes what -- !
How'd I know which train's fer me?
And how'd I know which train was not -- ?
Goern and comin' and gone astray, And backin' and switchin' ever'-which-way!
Ef I could jes sneak round behind Myse'f, where I could git full swing, I'd lift my coat, and kick, by jing!
Till I jes got jerked up and fined -- !
Fer here I stood, as a durn fool's apt To, and let that train jes chuff and choo Right apast me -- and mouth jes gapped Like a blamed old sandwitch warped in two!
End of title
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