Tom Johnson's Quit. (Ragweed and Fennel)

A passel o' the boys last night --
An' me amongst 'em -- kindo got
To talkin' Temper'nce left an' right,
An' workin' up "blue-ribbon," _hot_;
An' while we was a-countin' jes'
How many bed gone into hit
An' signed the pledge, some feller says, --
"Tom Johnson's quit! "

We laughed, of course -- 'cause Tom, you know,
_He's_ spiled more whisky, boy an' man,
And seed more trouble, high an' low,
Than any chap but Tom could stand:
And so, says I "_He's_ too nigh dead.
Far Temper'nce to benefit! "
The feller sighed agin, and said --
"Tom Johnson's quit! "

We all _liked_ Tom, an' that was why
We sorto simmered down agin,
And ast the feller ser'ously
Ef he wa'n't tryin' to draw us in:
He shuck his head -- tuck off his hat --
Helt up his hand an' opened hit,
An' says, says he, "I'll _swear_ to that --
Tom Johnson's quit! "

Well, we was stumpt, an' tickled too, --
Because we knowed ef Tom _had_ signed
Ther wa'n't no man 'at wore the "blue"
'At was more honester inclined:
An' then and there we kindo riz, --
The hull dern gang of us 'at bit --
An' th'owed our hats and let 'er whizz, --
"_Tom Johnson's quit! _"

I've heerd 'em holler when the balls
Was buzzin' 'round us wus 'n bees,
An' when the ole flag on the walls
Was flappin' o'er the enemy's,
I've heerd a-many a wild "hooray"
'At made my heart git up an' git --
But Lord! -- to hear 'em shout that way! --
"_Tom Johnson's quit! _"

But when we saw the chap 'at fetched
The news wa'n't jinin' in the cheer,
But stood there solemn-like, an' reched
An' kindo wiped away a tear,
We someway sorto' stilled agin,
And listened -- I kin hear him yit,
His voice a-wobblin' with his chin, --
"Tom Johnson's quit --

"I hain't a-givin' you no game --
I wisht I was! . An hour ago,
This operator -- what's his name --
The one 'at works at night, you know? --
Went out to flag that Ten Express,
And sees a man in front of hit
Th'ow up his hands an' stagger -- yes, --
_Tom Johnson's quit_. "