Mylo Jones's Wife

"Mylo Jones's wife" was all
I heerd, mighty near, last Fall --
Visitun relations down
T'other side of Morgantown!

Mylo Jones's wife she does
This and that, and "those" and "thus"! --
Can't 'bide babies in her sight --
Ner no childern, day and night,
Whoopin' round the premises --
NER NO NOTHIN' ELSE, I guess!

Mylo Jones's wife she 'lows
She's the boss of her own house! --
Mylo -- consequences is --
Stays whare things seem SOME like HIS, --
Uses, mostly, with the stock --
Coaxin' "Old Kate" not to balk,
Ner kick hoss-flies' branes out, ner
Act, I s'pose, so much like HER!

Yit the wimmern-folks tells you
She's PERFECTION. -- Yes they do!

Mylo's wife she says she's found
Home hain't home with MEN-FOLKS round
When they's work like HERN to do --
Picklin' pears and BUTCHERN, too,
And a-rendern lard, and then
Cookin' fer a pack of men
To come trackin' up the flore
SHE'S scrubbed TEL she'll scrub no MORE! --
Yit she'd keep things clean ef they
Made her scrub tel Jedgmunt Day!

Mylo Jones's wife she sews
Carpet-rags and patches clothes
Jest year IN and OUT! -- and yit
Whare's the livin' use of it?

She asts Mylo that. -- And he
Gits back whare he'd ruther be,
With his team; -- jest PLOWS -- and don't
Never sware -- like some folks won't!

Think ef HE'D CUT LOOSE, I gum!
'D he'p his heavenly chances some!

Mylo's wife don't see no use,
Ner no reason ner excuse
Fer his pore relations to
Hang round like they allus do!

Thare 'bout onc't a year -- and SHE --
She jest GA'NTS 'em, folks tells me,
On spiced pears! -- Pass Mylo one,
He says "No, he don't chuse none!"

Workin'men like Mylo they
'D ort to have MEAT ev'ry day!

Dad-burn Mylo Jones's wife!

Ruther rake a blame caseknife
'Crost my wizzen than to see
Sich a womern rulin' ME! --
Ruther take and turn in and
Raise a fool mule-colt by hand'
MYLO, though -- od-rot the man! --
Jest keeps ca'm -- like some folks CAN --
And 'lows sich as her, I s'pose,
Is MAN'S HE'PMEET' -- Mercy knows!

End of title

Mylo Jones's Wife

James Whitcomb Riley

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