My Jolly Friend's Secret

Ah, friend of mine, how goes it,
Since you've taken you a mate? --
Your smile, though, plainly shows it
Is a very happy state!

Dan Cupid's necromancy!

You must sit you down and dine,
And lubricate your fancy
With a glass or two of wine.

And as you have "deserted,"

As my other chums have done,
While I laugh alone diverted,
As you drop off one by one --
And I've remained unwedded,
Till -- you see -- look here -- that I'm,
In a manner, "snatched bald-headed"

By the sportive hand of Time!

I'm an "old 'un! " yes, but wrinkles
Are not so plenty, quite,
As to cover up the twinkles
Of the BOY -- ain't I right?

Yet, there are ghosts of kisses
Under this mustache of mine
My mem'ry only misses
When I drown 'em out with wine.

From acknowledgment so ample,
You would hardly take me for
What I am -- a perfect sample
Of a "jolly bachelor";
Not a bachelor has being
When he laughs at married life
But his heart and soul's agreeing
That he ought to have a wife!

Ah, ha I old chum, this claret,
Like Fatima, holds the key
Of the old Blue-Beardish garret
Of my hidden mystery!

Did you say you'd like to listen?

Ah, my boy! the "SAD NO MORE!"

And the tear-drops that will glisten --
TURN THE CATCH UPON THE DOOR,

And sit you down beside me,
And put yourself at ease --
I'll trouble you to slide me
That wine decanter, please;
The path is kind o' mazy
Where my fancies have to go,
And my heart gets sort o' lazy
On the journey -- don't you know?

Let me see -- when I was twenty --
It's a lordly age, my boy,
When a fellow's money's plenty,
And the leisure to enjoy --
And a girl -- with hair as golden
As -- THAT; and lips -- well -- quite
As red as THIS I'm holdin'
Between you and the light.

And eyes and a complexion --
Ah, heavens! -- le'-me-see --
Well, -- just in this connection, --
DID YOU LOCK THAT DOOR FOR ME?

Did I start in recitation
My past life to recall?

Well, THAT'S an indication
I am purty tight -- that's all!

End of title

My Jolly Friend's Secret

James Whitcomb Riley

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