Only page of title Fairly Difficult
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3
In the days (say) of Dickens or Marryat,
Where statesmen their peers would with courtesy greet,
Where the senator sauntered on leisurely feet,
And the dowager drove in her chariot.
The War Office entries
Were guarded by sentries;
But Mars was polite to the Graces,
And officers' mothers,
Their sisters, and others,
Called daily on those in high places,
Demanding, with true patriotic devotion,
Their sons' (or their brothers') more rapid promotion!
And this suitable site was selected
By motorists, goggled, befurred, and peak-capped,
As a central position excessively apt
For the Palace of Fun they erected.
In place of old quiet
Came racket and riot,
As cars at the club kept arriving,
Or p'licemen in torrents
Poured in, to serve warrants
On members for 'furious driving';
Where amateur chauffeurs, resolved to be jolly,
Were drowning dull care in a 'Petrol and Polly'!
This is really a fine place of meeting;
For here in a crowd men may guzzle and munch
(Though the orchestra makes such a noise while they lunch
That the members can't hear themselves eating).
Here thousands forgather,
To feed and to blather --
Each day brings a fresh reinforcement --
And tell (with a dry sense
Of fun) how their licence
Got marked with its latest endorsement,
Or how many yokels and dogs they ran over
The day that they fractured the 'record' to Dover!
End of title
