The Bachelors' (Club Cantos)

While clerks lunch at Lockhart's or Lyons',
And labourers meet at some 'pub,'
Society's celibate scions
Resort to the Bachelors' Club;
For here all the members elected
Belong to a very smart set,
And bask in the sunshine reflected
From Mr. Gillett.

Here youths of the Governing Classes
At regular intervals call,
To tap barometrical glasses
Or study the tape in the Hall;
Discussing the 'latest from Lincoln,'
Comparing the odds of each bet,
Or reading out jokes from the '_Pink 'Un_'
To Mr. Gillett.

And though they severely disparage
Those trammels that Benedicks bind,
And members who contemplate marriage
Are spoken to sharply and fined;
'The Sex' they regard as no sinners,
And ladies may often be met,
Partaking of luncheons or dinners
With Mr. Gillett.

Here, too, for young persons of leisure
Who wish to develop the mind,
Instruction is tempered with pleasure,
Tuition with fun is combined;
New knowledge they gain (one conjectures)
And cerebral stimulus get,
Attending the Radium Lectures
Of Mr. Gillett.

Then ho! for this celibate centre
For youths who are loth to espouse,
Though fish-knives (the gift of their mentor)
May tempt them to cancel their vows!
And ho! for that guide and dictator!
Their whistles let bachelors wet
(A whisky and soda, please, waiter! )
To Mr. Gillett!

End of title